When Everything Becomes Optional, How Will You Choose?

Have you ever felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation?

I'm wrapping up a wonderful two-week trip to Portugal, where I've been spending time with fellow Modern Elder Academy alumni. It's been such a pleasure being surrounded by people who share a positive outlook on aging and a curiosity about this next stage of life.

We've explored beautiful places, enjoyed wonderful meals, and had some really interesting conversations.

Yesterday, I decided I needed something different. I needed a day to simply be.

My husband went on a bike tour with one of the others, and I stayed at the quinta. I read a book, took some pictures, did a little laundry, and enjoyed the beautiful surroundings.

Nothing particularly exciting. No sightseeing. No special plans. And it was exactly what I needed.

The Freedom We've Been Looking Forward To

For decades, so much of our time is spoken for. Meetings. Deadlines. Family responsibilities. Appointments. Commitments.

We get used to organizing our days around what needs to be done. And we become pretty good at it!

As retirement approaches, you may find yourself imagining all the things you'll finally have time to do. Travel. Hobbies. Volunteering. Learning. Spending more time with family and friends.

All wonderful possibilities.

And yet, after years of schedules, responsibilities, and expectations, that familiar need to be productive doesn't necessarily disappear when you retire.

When Doing Less Feels Uncomfortable

If you've spent much of your career setting goals, meeting expectations, and accomplishing things, there's a certain satisfaction that comes from being productive.

And learning to slow down isn't always easy.

You may find yourself filling your calendar with activities, commitments, and things you think you should be doing, even when you no longer have to.

I certainly understand that feeling. Even on vacation, it's tempting to want to see and experience everything and make sure we don't miss anything.

Yet on this trip, I was reminded that sometimes what we need most isn't another activity. It's a little space. Time to rest, reflect, and enjoy our surroundings without thinking about what's next.

What Does Freedom Mean to You?

As you approach retirement, you may be thinking about all the things you want to do. And I'd encourage you to consider something else:

How do you want your days to feel?

Do you enjoy having structure? Do you like spontaneity? What activities give you energy? When do you feel most content?

There's no one right way to spend your retirement. You may thrive with a busy schedule and lots of activities. Or you may enjoy a slower pace. Perhaps you'd like a combination of both.

What matters is recognizing what's meaningful to you and making choices that reflect that.

My day at the quinta was a wonderful reminder that I don't always need to make the most of every moment. Sometimes I just need to appreciate the moment I'm in.

As you think about your next chapter, what would you like to give yourself permission to do — or not do?